What's so great about women anyway?
by stardustkr7
Summary: Dick is dating someone new and Damian is worried how its going to affect him. Pre New 52.


"What are you doing, Grayson? We should be getting ready for patrol now," the thirteen year old behind him demanded in the mirror.

Dick finished adjusting his suit and tie, ran a hand through his hair in attempt to make it look more interesting, then looked over at his young charge.

"Didn't I tell you? Or Alfred? Taking the night off," he said, smiling and turning back to admire his reflection. Yeah, he still cleaned up good.

"Taking the night off? We can't just take the night off," Damian claimed. "And why are you dressed up? My father isn't throwing any parties tonight that we are obligated to attend."

"I have a date," Dick answered, grinning broadly and now peering over his shoulder to admire how well his pants fit.

"-tt- A date?" the young teen scoffed.

"Yep. How do I look?"

"Like you're trying too hard for some stupid socialite bimbo after father's money."

"Damian, we've talked about this. That isn't nice to say," Dick scolded gently, sweeping past his little brother and out of the bedroom.

"But it's true!"

"For some maybe, but it's still important to be respectful towards women, Dami. All of them."

"-TT-"

"Besides, I'm pretty sure this woman doesn't just want me for my money," Dick added, smiling again as he put on his shoes by the door.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Damian demanded.

Dick shrugged, pressing the button to call the elevator to the penthouse. "Go out on patrol with Stephanie I guess. You two are working pretty well together. Or just stay here and hang out. I don't know, buddy, but don't wait up for me," he added with a wink, stepping inside the lift and letting the doors close on the round, annoyed little face.

* * *

"Why are we here again?" Batgirl asked with a heavy sigh.

"Stakeout," Robin muttered, peering through binoculars. They were perched on a rooftop across the street from an upscale looking building, carefully studying the floor with the open balcony restaurant.

"Yes, I know, you've said that before. Now who or what are we staking out?" Stephanie elaborated. "And where's Batman tonight?"

"Uhh, he's busy with other important things, Brown," said Damian.

"Like what?"

"Things, okay!"

Stephanie narrowed her eyes at the thirteen year old, looked at the balcony they were supposed to be watching, then looked back at Damian again. She took out her own binoculars and leaned on the ledge, searching for what Damian was watching so intently.

And then-

"Oh my god is that Dick and Barbara?!"

"Keep it down, Batgirl!" Damian shushed her.

"Dick is on a date with Barbara and you're spying on him?"

"I didn't…" Damian lowered the binoculars and looked sheepish about his next admission. "I didn't know he was going to be with Gordon. He just said he had a date." Then he regained his pride and scowled up at her. "Grayson is so emotional and falls for women who are bad for him easily. I was simply making sure the first heir to my father's fortune is not being taken for a fool."

"Aww, you were checking up on your big brother," said Stephanie, smirking at him.

"-TT"

"It's cute. Thoughtful. While Dick probably wouldn't like you spying on him, I think he would understand the gesture and appreciate the concern," she said fairly, patting him on the shoulder.

"Don't patronize me," he growled.

"I'm not, I promise," said Batgirl, leaning on the brick ledge again and looking through her binoculars.

"I thought you said they would not appreciate spying," Damian pointed out, joining her.

"Of course they wouldn't. But this is a big deal, Dick and Barbara dating again. They have so much history."

"History…? They have done this before?"

"Done this? Yes! They were in love. Ever since their Batgirl and Robin days. They've always loved each other and they even were together. But it wasn't the right time and things didn't work out. They weren't the right people for each other at the time," Stephanie elaborated with almost a dreamy sigh. She was rather proud of the number of details she had managed to wrangle out of Barbara in the past few years.

"What are you doing?"

"Texting Cass. She'll want to know about this too. I'll send one to Tim and Jason as well," she explained, pulling out her phone. She finished sending each message then looked up to see Damian no longer watching across the street, but instead staring up at the starless sky. "What's wrong?"

"If Grayson marries her, will that mean I go back to living with father? I … I had adjusted to living with Grayson and I do see my father an adequate amount despite how busy he is with Batman Incorporated. And I would not oppose to going back to the Manor of course since one day it will be mine …"

"But you have a good thing going and don't want it to change and mess up your relationship with Dick or Bruce?" Stephanie guessed.

"I am comfortable with our arrangement. It works better since Grayson and I are still partners."

"Damian," Steph said softly, moved by his concern, "Dick loves you. You're not just his partner, you're his little brother. And Barbara has a guest room that I'm sure she'd clean up for you," she added with a teasing smirk.

He frowned at her again. "I suppose maybe access to Oracle's networks would be advantageous…"

"I wouldn't think of it in terms of that, buddy," she warned. "Oracle would kill you if you tried to use her stuff. And Dick would just stand back and say 'I told you so.' Do not under estimate that woman." She then let out a sigh as she went back to watching the couple on the terrace hold hands over the table and lean closer.

"What's so great about women anyway?" Damian pouted.

"Ask me that again in two years," said Steph dryly. She rolled her eyes, thinking of how many times she had caught the kid staring at her chest already, and he was only thirteen.

"I don't mean you, Brown. I mean this whole thing is pointless and confusing," Damian went on. "Grayson claims she isn't interested in his money yet tries to impress her with an expensive dinner. Clearly status is important."

"It's not all about money. It's about atmosphere and romance." She glanced over at him with an amused look. "And what makes you think Barbara doesn't have her own money? Seriously, Oracle makes bank. She does not need Dick Grayson's money."

He looked across the street again, still pulling a face. "It looks boring. Romance."

"When you're on the outside, it does. But that's how you know its for real," said Stephanie wisely.

* * *

"How long are they going to sit there?" Damian complained.

It had been almost two hours since Batgirl and Robin had started spying on their mentors on their date. Stephanie had insisted on sitting and watching the scene unfold, letting out a squeal of delight followed by some boring observation like "he kissed her hand!" or "they're feeding each other cheesecake!"

Robin had taken a short break to stop a carjacking around the corner. She was still leaning on the ledge when he returned.

"I think Dick just asked for the check," Stephanie reported. "They're both still smiling, that's a good sign."

"Finally," said Damian.

"I wouldn't expect Dick to come home tonight if I were you though."

"Why not? Isn't their date over?"

"Oh, Damian," said Stephanie with a heavy sigh. "Hasn't Dick had this talk with you yet?"

Damian stared at her, open mouthed, then suddenly scowled and turned very red.

"You mean when he assumed I knew nothing about human reproduction and decided I must be put through a two hour lesson on how the female body works?" he grumbled. It had been the literal worst day of his life.

"Yes, I can't imagine the horror of being lectured by Dick Grayson on how to please a woman."

"Shut up, Brown."Getting more and more humiliated by the second, he busied himself with a device from his belt.

"What's that?"

"I planted a bug in the car," he answered, handing her an ear piece.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Stephanie, still taking an earpiece as they tuned in.

There was the sound of car doors opening, laughter, and then closing. The engine started and rumbled softly in the background.

Then they started speaking again.

"Where to, my lady?" Dick asked.

"Hmm, just drive for a bit, Hunk Wonder."

A pause.

"In the direction of your place?" You could almost hear the hopeful grin in his voice.

"Presumptuous, aren't we. Don't you have to be a responsible adult now?"

"He's fine, he's thirteen. He's probably out patrolling with Stephanie."

Another pause.

"You've done a really great job with him, Dick. I'm really proud of you, of all you've done."

"Thanks Babs… Damian is a good kid and he tries really hard. Sometimes it's just in the only ways he knows how and that's where people think he's difficult. He just needed support."

"Well he couldn't have a better example to look up to."

Stephanie dared a glance at Damian who determinedly did not meet her gaze. His ears were red.

"There's you, Babs. You're pretty amazing at the mentoring thing too. Just look at Cass and Charlie and Steph… Look at us, we have sidekicks!"

Barbara laughed. "We really do, don't we. We've come a long ways since our own sidekick days."

"We grew up, for real this time." He paused for a few more moments before laughing and adding, "We're on a date and talking about the kids."

"That's what old people do!"

"We're not that old."

"We're pretty old… we should do something young and reckless to counteract it," she giggled.

"Like what?"

"Hmmm, why don't you pull over, Grayson, and we'll think of something." Her voice was suggestive.

He chuckled a little then moments later, there was the crunch of gravel and the engine cut out. Their breathing and shifting was a lot more noticeable without the background noise.

They heard some movement and then a very feminine moan.

"How … young and reckless … were you … hoping to get … tonight?" His low voice was punctuated by sighs.

More shifting and moans, the smacking of mouths on skin.

"Mmm… yes, Dick, that feels good…."

More panting. "Yes, Babs … oh god, you taste so good …"

Barbara giggled again.

Stephanie was frozen with horror. She managed to snap out of it at a particularly high pitched sigh though and decided it was probably best to let them have their privacy at this point.

She snatched up the earphone before she could hear any more sighing and smacking, grabbing the one in Damian's ear as well.

"Okay, I think we have a pretty good idea of how things are going," she said, prying the transmitter from his hands and turning it off.

"Hey!"

"How about we salvage what's left of this patrol by actually fighting some crime," Batgirl suggested before he could protest further.

* * *

"Damian?"

"Yes, Stephanie?"

They were sitting on the rooftop of the Wayne Enterprises building as the dawn approached, sipping hot chocolate.

She smiled slightly at the use of her name. He tended to let it slip when he was tired or distracted.

"I know you're still worried but Dick isn't abandoning you for Barbara. Just because he's restarting this relationship, doesn't mean he'll forget about taking care of you," she said.

"I don't need to be taken care of," Damian insisted.

"You're thirteen. You still need someone. And it will make your older brother happy. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing … but he's just so annoying when he's happy!"

Stephanie roared with laughter.

"I'm serious! He won't shut up and always wants to hug me!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Robin," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. She hopped up and left him alone on the rooftop.

"Night, Batgirl," he muttered.

Sure, Stephanie had become a decent partner in the past few years. But really, what was so great about women anyway that turned Grayson into a complete fool? And did everyone always insist he would understand when he was older?


End file.
